Wild_Coyote, I'm SO GLAD you posted that!!!

I can barely function in life, but I always LOOK okay. Because I am articulate, because I can hold conversations and have social skills, doctors mistake that for 'high-functioning.' I just had an interview two weeks ago with an assessor for Medicaid disability, and within 15 minutes of meeting me, she had already said I have borderline personality disorder. As I walked out of the one hour appointment, she told me, "You seem really smart and capable," which sounds like a good compliment but ISN'T when you've been trying to explain how totally incapable you are of functioning and how upsetting it is to you to not be able to do more.

First off, I don't care if she has a PhD - NO ONE can diagnose a personality disorder in 15 minutes.

Second, it left me so upset. This has happened to me over and over, and it hurts when people who are supposed to help instead totally invalidate my darkest times. My therapist says it's because I never look as bad as I feel. I look like I could pop up and plan a dinner for 150 people at church, but I can barely leave the house sometimes. Since I look better than I feel, providers assume I'm lying about how badly I'm doing and assume I'm trying to manipulate him.

This has been so, so, SO upsetting for me over time to keep getting the inaccurate BPD diagnosis just because I look fine on the outside and the PhDs trust only what they see and what they think instead of listening to me.

For the original question -
I consider high-functioning as able to meet normal responsibilities in life - able to hold a full-time job or do school full-time, able to maintain some close friendships or family relationships, able to physically take care of self like showering and eating, (since I'm a mom) able to watch the children full-time, (since I'm a housewife) able to take care of the home like keeping it reasonably clean. Like someone else said - being able to blend in with normal people.