Ugh. I have an appointment with my very kind pdoc today and I am terribly anxious...I am facing telling her about my great-niece...somehow, telling my pdoc is like exposing a nerve, or like making this horrifying event too real. Yesterday I looked at a photograph I have of my great-niece and my daughter together. The picture was taken while my g-niece was participating in an art event. In the photo, she is splashed with colorful paint and looks so pleased with herself. I looked at her lovely eyes and thought, Those eyes are blind now, she's blind now...she shot herself and she's blind now.