Thanks Amandalouise for taking time to analyse my problem! I can see what you mean here. I actually do not want him to move out, I mean I wouldn't mind if he decides to move out, but I don't mind if he doesn't. I know he does not have options right now. He is, even though I can't prove it here, a really good person, and exceptionally intelligent, but in this particular area he is delusional IMO. And that is what's bothering me. I can't even tell him I am not really fan of his parents' praising stories, and that I would really like him to have some vision of his future and some realistic ambitions, because he does not have any. I feel like he is prepared to die with his parents. He never goes to doctors, he ignores all health problems (in his defence, he can't even afford it ), he is picky about jobs but has none for months, he does not drive, he sometimes says he never plans future because he doesn't have one. What kind of friend says that? I am close to my parents, but also I am independent and realistic, so this kind of thinking is alien to me. We usually function well as friends but in this case, I can't understand him and it's scary to see grown up man, large man, with wits and intelligence, who can't imagine life without his parents. It's not just like he is close to them. He is too close, they are like a trio of siblings that can't be separated. Living with parents is not a problem. Being their inseparable companion who adores them is the problem. They even monitor his calls, so we have to communicate through internet.
And well, as Michelea stated he is, by definition, friend with benefits. Problem is he does not think we are friends with benefits, even when it's obvious we are. He thinks we are in relationship, because that is how he sees serious relationship. The fact that in most of cases I can't count on him, and that we never did or will travel anywhere together or spend the night is not something he sees as mandatory part of relationship.
I am not sure why this bothers me so much when I don't want him to move out, or to move in with me (???). I think I might be scared that he will be completely lost and ruined when they are gone and I am not sure I am able to help him as I have my own load of problems in life and I really don't know how. I feel like I am investing my life and love into someone who does not care a bit about his own future, does not have any plans or ambitions (I mean realistic ambitions), anything he can live from in the future and whose mental health kinda depends on his elderly and fragile parents. And yes, I am scared. Love is sometimes just not enough.
MOlinit, I agree but I needed to do that like 7 or more years ago. I fought 10 years and accomplished nothing. I am 44 and tired and really can't start again. I will also lose best friend all all other friends because they all see us as couple.