I had my session today, my T wants me to go into the hospital for 3 days or so. He thinks that I am slipping and that my suicide idealations are concerning him, he says that he is afraid I have to much coming at me at once right now, and that he is afraid I will make the wrong choices, and I need someone 24/7 for alitte while to help me work things out. I cancelled my appt today with my psychiatrist that regulates my meds, I have been so down and out, I just don't feel like going through this with yet another person, and I just didn't want to go today, I cancelled and re-scheduled for next week. My T thinks that this is not a very good sign and with all the talk and negative feelings he is afraid that I will harm myself. He says he doesn't believe that I want to end my life, but the depression is taking over and is afraid I will make the wrong choices........I am so scared to go into the hospital.......they will throw the key away and I will never come out........my dad used to tell me that all the time........if I ever said anything to anyone about what he did, that they would throw me in a mental institute and I would never come out.......what if he is right......????

My kids are freaking out, my daughters b-day is this weekend, she wants me here for her party......my husband and I are on the fritz....he is still here, but when I told him what my T wants me to do, he asked if I could hold off until Feburary, when we are financially more stable, he can't afford to miss work right now........I have been out of work for 3 months due to wrist surgery, just started back and we are finally getting somewhat set.........I feel like .......don't even know right now........