Any talk of being any kind of mother is not something that has ever worked (here--not saying it about anyone else) and is, thankfully, not part of current therapy. What does work, though, is learning to listen to what's needed and not judge or be harsh with whatever it is that's being asked. In a way the therapist has been a model of how to do this and it's been absorbed over time. But honest to god, if there had ever been talk of a good mother, that would not have gone over well at all. I think for some people in therapy, the model of mother is just not going to fly.