the only times that kind of thing happened was when i was a child. i would play with some of them or one would be fronting when i was just watching from the back. sometimes i could see one in front of me. i knew they weren't just imaginary friends but didn't know what they were..i just knew they were there sometimes.

as i got into my teen years, it changed so we were able to talk to each other. it was okay with me because i was able to get to learn about some of them and wasn't alone...though the dissociation was so bad too that they were the only thing i really had during it. my head was always so loud and chaotic.

as time went on, it stopped being like that. i have just started to realize that they went quiet and barriers went up more so i don't hear them much because it was the only way i could become stronger and become more of myself. it does make it difficult though because of that since i do still feel them and occasionally hear them but am not currently able to learn what they need/want, etc. and can only try things to see if it helps any.

as a child, i think some of them were around when i was feeling lonely or sad, etc. but i don't think it was all the time either as i only recall an older one a few times being there to play games with me or comfort me.

now when i have felt some of them closer, it isn't really enjoyable (unless it's one of the younger ones who isn't sad/scared or a fun/funny one) because so many of them feel so much pain and sadness and others are full of fear, hatred towards me, etc. and other things...so i am not sure i'd actually want that kind of company if that was going to be how it always is because it starts to affect me and my feelings/functioning because of the feelings that come from them.