Why not? I'm self-aware enough* to know there's something disturbed about wanting to be abused or ill to feel like somebody, or to measure up in some way, or to avoid guilt. It sounds malignantly self-absorbed. I actually had an attack of these thoughts yesterday, did some impulsive texting and scared my mom.

*I hate anyone mentioning it, and I kind of hate it about myself. It feels mildly dissociative, like the revelations about myself, the looks into my mind are actually descriptions of someone else. I'm so detached from them...some say this is an enlightened way to be, but I hate it. It feels....really wrong.