Truly? I don't think you can achieve this while you live with her. It's really hard to change someone's behaviour and it sounds from your experience that she will just look for the wrong reason if you do anything different, or argue if you suggest something new. On the bright side, it might help inspire and motivate you to move out and build your own nest, with your own rules. Be creative in your search, don't just look at renting. Look at communities, or live in jobs, or residential programmes. Good luck.