What I found is that I got away by myself after a life time of struggle & fighting. Everyone says that you can't escape your problems, you bring them with you. I wondered why when I got away that my problems DIDN'T follow me & for the first time in my life I could truly find out who I was. I realized that everyone in my whole life was dealing with the same issues & when I was able to just socialize with normal people, I no longer had the problem I had dealing with those people (parents & husband) who had the same dysfunctional issues.

Growing up around that dysfunction & had no idea what was normal so I wasnt wise enough to not marry someone with the same dysfunction as it was disguised in a different package.

So my THEORY is that is our problems follow us then the problem is probably within us, but if it doesnt folliw us (its been 9 years now for me) then the problem was probably external & it was our reaction to the problem that we were experiencing. Definitely easier to work on especially when you dont have to live with it 24/7.