Hello tryingthingsout: I'm sorry you have not received a reply to your post. It certainly deserves one. I have experienced some of this sort of thing & it can certainly be disturbing. In my case, I simply try to keep in mind that these are just thoughts. As long as I don't act on them, they're simply chimera. I can just acknowledge them, smile to them, & let them go... no big deal... I don't know if you're seeing a therapist. But, if you are, talking these things through can also be helpful. If you're not seeing a mental health professional, perhaps this is something you might want to consider. I wish you well...