Quote:
Originally Posted by itsgettinglate
Could it be that it's your inner critic that points you toward the view that you're X and Y?
It seems that when we believe something about ourselves, especially something negative, we filter out evidence to the contrary and essentially look for evidence that supports our belief. The belief, the crap your inner critic spouts, likely has some truth to it. Accepting that crap as TRUTH though really skews our perceptions.
I don't know how you experience your inner critic, but I tend to believe that there's more to the message than we may think. You say you're 21. I have no idea, but lets say you can't drive. Most people your age can drive. Behind those facts might be messages like, "it's really weak that a guy my age can't drive" or "how pathetic that I'm playing the helpless little girl". In either case, breathless messages that you should be able to drive and you're falling behind everybody may also be there on some level.
So the fact is you don't drive, and a majority of people your age can. Everything else is where your inner critic gets the lousy rep it deserves. If you think you should be X, or you're "horribly incompetent", those things aren't facts. They'r opinions formed long ago when you were defenseless to challenge them. You're not defenseless now.
|
I'm not really sure what your point in all this is, but I'll still do my best to respond.
Its more that I experience life, which points me to conclusions. I've tried contradicting my inner critic. I've looked for just about all the ideas I can. The problem is that pretty much everything in my life, even when I'm not thinking on that particular aspect of myself, confirms it for me. I can't contradict observations, which yes do at times compare myself to others, but moreso its just the conclusions I'm led to believe based off myself.
So I don't have any means to contradict any of the things that define my existence; severe loneliness to the point of constant physical pain, feeling that I'm unlovable and will never be loved by anyone, incompetence in the most basic aspects and to the point that I'll probably not be able to function as an independent adult, very poor body-image, self-hatred, impossibility of almost any of my dreams or desires coming into fruition (or even possibility), as well as having absolutely no meaning or purpose in my life...you get the point...
All these are based not in some false notions, but in what I've learned and observed about myself in my day-to-day life, and which are repeatedly confirmed regardless of my best efforts against them.
...and extreme stress due to a variety of variables, which has at times been so severe that its caused physical symptoms....because life decided it hadn't screwed me over enough yet.
Other self-help stuff just makes me even more discouraged and depressed than before. The typical one is the whole "write 50 things (or hell even 10 things) which you see as positives about yourself, or which you like about yourself". On the best day I've ever had I've come up with 2 by really stretching it.