I understand. Having to apply for SSDI was one of the hardest things I've ever done. Giving up my career hurt so much.It's been 4 years and I still miss it.

But I'm able to manage life so much better. If I don't sleep at night I can sleep when I'm able. If I don't feel well I don't have to pretend I'm fine. I don't have to try to cover mania. I just live and do the best I can at living. It helps.

The money side is really hard but you can work some while on SSDI. I can't, at least not now, but you can if you are able to work some. I don't know the limits but it's a reasonable amount beyond your SSDI.

The waiting is hard. I only had to wait 11 weeks so am not the best at knowing how to get through it but hopefully you'll also be approved rapidly.

I hope that you are able to find some peace tonight and a break from the anxiety.