I'm so sorry you had those experiences. Doctors can be awful and we need to self-advocate. The problem is that it is almost impossible to self-advocate when you are at your lowest.

Can you report them calling your wife? If you are in USA it is a HIPPA violation.

I do have a pdoc and she is OK. Good, not great. You could try going to a pdoc on your own. You could also try a therapist who is understanding, helpful, and understand the meaning of the words private and confidential. It is difficult but check yelp and various other sources. Then interview a few. That's worked for me. Check who is covered by your insurance before you start looking. Just some thoughts.