When my son was young and I was watching him learn about the world and how it works, it was so interesting. Sometimes when explaining or showing him about something it was as if was seeing it for the first time too. "How does that seed make a flower?" "Why is she crying?" questions require slowing things down, taking them apart, analyzing them so they can be introduced and explained.

And sometimes there was a mutual meeting of needs, I can see now. I wouldn't have noticed it then when it was happening. I think that when we sat and rocked, when I sang to him, got down and played on the floor with him...my needs for affection, intimacy, play were also being met.

When he needed me for comfort and reassurance I truly realized that those are valid needs; real and fulfillable. At the same Iime I wanted to fulfill those needs for my son, I felt my own longings and resentment for not having had what I needed when I needed it. I suspect that might be similar to what pink experienced watching the Erikson video.