well i am in Australia to start with.

doctors said they cant say exactly what is going on with me but mentioned something called bipolar affective disorder which i dont know what that means exactly and a whole bunch of other stuff but basically said it is about managing things for me and that none of this will ever go away i am so tired and i want to cry all the time i was fine the stupid meds ruined everything now i am back in the hole again and ugh i want to scream i cant do this i cant keep doing this i am trying so hard i even told the doctors a whole bunch of stuff but i should have just listened to the angels. i dont feel good.