To me, there is a difference in meaning between "You have choices despite your past, and current adverse circumstances limiting your choices" vs "You are blaming everything on your past and on current adverse circumstances".

I had a T who would say to me "Stop being a victim, take personal responsibility" and he meant it as I had choices to leave a job where I was getting sexually harrassed and bullied and that I "brought on or attracted" bullies to myself because of my behaviour.

He was assuming I had an external locus of control and was trying to shift it to an internal locus of control but his manner and examples were horrible and definitely felt like "victim blaming."

While I don't like your T's manner (I'm sorry, I do recognise your words that she can be really good and empathic sometimes), could she be trying to convey a similar point? (She's doing it in a really shaming way...)