Thanks for the replies!

So ive been approved thru private insurance for long term disability until aug 2018. What a HUGE relief.

Now im focusing on having a new career in 2 years. If i get ssdi or not, i still have 2 years to figure out myself and if ill be able to work in the future. And, im not feeling trapped by ssdi security blanket and still motivated to learn a new skill or trade.