Quote:
Originally Posted by BayBrony
I just want you to know that there are Ts out there who will recognize and honor your experience and call it what it is---abuse.
Is it possible the same dynamics that drew you into other abusive relationships are at work here??
There are people on this forum who have been victimized by their Ts and something about the words he chose sets off warninga for me.
Think carefully about whether this Ts approach is helping you. Because I can tell you my Ts response any time I question her because I felt she minimized something " Bay, you were abused and I never mean to.minize that". The fact that he didn't say . " I'm sorry it sounded minimizing. You were abused." Really bothers me
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He did say "I very much regret implying minimization" but never straight up said "you were abused" Not sure what I'm going to do. I have grown attached to him in some ways but I don't trust my judgment completely. Part of me wonders if he's just very uncomfortable talking about sex in general. Even when he says the word "lesbian" referring to my extramarital affair a few years ago, he says it in a slightly altered tone, like lowering his voice, as if it's a bad word. He's quite religious, this I do know...
In other ways my therapy with him has been good, and I've attached strongly. Maybe that's why I wanted him more firmly in my corner on the abuse issue, and felt hurt when I felt he wasn't.
I am not sure what you mean about questioning whether the same dynamic of abuse might be involve in the therapeutic relationship. I haven't felt him to be abusive at all.