We have been struggling with my son's depression and anxiety for 2 years. He has had some very severe issues, including one hospitalization for hurting himself. We have him on medications guided by primary care, supplements/vitamins guided by naturopathic MD, and his issues had been at a "manageable level" for about a year, but last month he started showing some increased agitation and issues.

We went on a pre-planned family vacation, and a regression occurred on the road secondary to a run-in with my husband, his step father, and it was "unsurmountable" for him, their relationship was challenging prior to this, but now it completely has dissolved. We ended our vacation early, because we were far from home, and if we really had problems, I needed to be near what few resources we have. After this breakdown, when we got home, he decided to go live with his dad. (same town, but not super vigilant with his health and wellness needs). I am devastated by this, with all of the work and time that has been spent working on his issues, now I have NO control of whether he takes his medications, does school assignments, takes showers, etc. I am not sure how to proceed. I am so stressed by this and I have been crying a lot when thinking of how this has really hurt me and our family. I am just not functioning well myself right now, and the stress is making me wonder if maybe I need some help myself.

I am meeting with him today for lunch, to discuss his decision, and plans for school (which was previously an online school where his main support/coaching was at my home). To discuss whether he wants his clothes, books, etc., at his dads. To discuss his medications, and how to proceed with keeping him "safe" with his depression issues. I know he is close, I can call him, and check in on him, but I just feel like a piece of my life, my love, has walked out...I am sitting here holding the pieces of my heart in my hands, knowing our relationship will never be the same.

My husband is a good man, he loves my kids, but he also runs a tight ship when it comes to rules, etc., and my son has always had issues with that since we got married (7 years ago). Husband has never raised a hand to hit son, never has been abusive in word or deed. Husband sees this outbreak and move as manipulation and control, not part of son's depression, but I am conflicted with that.

What does a mom do here? How can I get over this pain? Do I just act like "nothing has happened" with him? Or do I let him know how pained I am about this? There are just so many aspects of this issue, it is hard to place in a post, but I guess this is a start.

mjk