Hang in there! I was in your shoes once. It wasn't until my late 20's that I accepted myself. I love sports, never wear makeup (except my wedding day), never carried a purses. I don't think like most women either. Mt Pdoc says that is the way I am wired. My hubby loves me for me. I have 2 sisters. The one who didn't want boobs, got the biggest chest. It was a tough go. At one place of employment, my nickname was butch. I didn't like it at all. I finally figured that being a guy would not have made my depression go away. I finally had a good T that helped me through it all.