You have described some things so closely it gives me chills. While I have not ventured out like that in awhile, I sure used to and on motorcycles. I recall one time I went to the royal gorge in Colorado and took in some amazing scenery. Many times while I was there I even spoke like i was not alone, like either a girlfriend, wife, or best friend was with me though I had none of those. There is a special kind of loneliness in doing things by yourself, especially if you want someone in your life to share things with.