((((((LawlietIsLove)))))))

I am sorry that you are struggling with such deep sad thoughts & emotions. I can relate on a lot of levels, but I don't want to change topic.

You are beautiful and special in your own way, I can truly assure you of that fact honey. You would be surprised to learn how little men expect of women, and how shocked they are to hear about half of the struggles that we've gone through in our adolescence!! 100% true.

Whenever you catch yourself on that negativity track, pull yourself off by focusing on positives. You may be Italian, and dark-haired, but some guys really like that. Let your hair grow a bit before shaving again. Make sure that you use a new, fresh razor with shave gel. Shave in the tub, after your skin has adjusted to the warm up for a few minutes or so, for a closer shave. Facial hair: use wax sheets or that emery board. The board works great on the upper lip for me. Other hairs, I pluck. I don't like that either...but I haven't found a better cost effective method yet either. Sorry.

Things will get better.

Drink lots of water. Do pilates and/or yoga, try to focus on enjoying making your body stronger. Try not to over-wash your face. It does need some oils. That's how it naturally protects itself.

Remember: focus on the positives whenever you can. You can do it!
Btw, welcome to Psych Central! I hope that you find whatever you're looking for on this site. It was a terrific find for me. Best wishes to you!