There is ROCD- relationship OCD. I have had a few obsessions over unrequited love interests and have spent a lot of time trying to figure it out and understand why. The interesting conclusion I came to is if they had returned my affection, I probably would have stopped feeling such pure infatuation and started to see their flaws and decide they weren't right for me and lost interest! It might have to do with the black/white thinking of BPD (which i have traits). I think of them, I obsess about them, but I attribute qualities to them that I imagine they have when I have no idea what they are really like and I understand this.

You haven't mentioned your father.

I have classic unavailable daddy issues. I have a loving, but non touching, emotionally abusive mother who is narcissistic.

I also feel that I fixated on these fantasy objects because my needs were not getting met IRL. I am not able to truly connect with my h because he is not able to connect with me. We are having an intimacy issue. I even told him about the fantasies. I don't know how much of all this is me and how much is him, but I feel that if we could be happy, i wouldn't resort to imaginary friends.