I'm very concerned for you as you're going through so much and sooo young. I'm freshly and painfully sober and I'll tell you that the mind set of "I'll do this alone" is not going to go so well. What you're describing is very dangerous and I'm sorry but I think you should reach out. If your T talks about it and it gets overbearing just tell them and say you want to work at your own pace and talk about a different subject. However I do think it needs to be addressed. I wish you the best of luck.