Yes, it's positive to not be afraid of the hospital. I recognized the need to do so the last time I recognized I was in the throws of having a breakdown. My family doctor is my first point of the process.

It is great you are also self aware - especially of the up swings too.

Write these things down. Document for a while just what these moods are and note the triggers if you can. This will be helpful when you see your mental health care team