While my mother in law takes my husband and child to go see a musical out of state. They left at 9, won't be back till 7. Husband says we can celebrate then, by watching a movie. They were supposed to go to the show yesterday but plans changed, so I have known about it for a few days. I said that it was fine, but I think I pushed my anger about it really deep down and it has manifest in some pretty weird ways over the last few days, from feeling physically ill (why I'm in bed) to lashing out at my therapist and others.

I feel angry about my not being able to advocate for myself to ask that I have my family around today. It's like a major delayed emotional reaction, which is not uncommon for me. There have been other very similar situations over the course of my marriage especially, where I just feel unimportant. I'm so depressed I can hardly move and just keep hoping I'll die of a broken heart or something.

I emailed the facts to my therapist about it being my birthday, (did not mention anniversary), and that I would be alone, and that I think I was feeling anger about that bubbling up which is why I wrote him a few harsh emails yesterday. His response was "many happy returns!" With a cake emoji . I feel incredibly invisible and just so unloved.

I'm so sorry this is such a depressing post on the heels of my other depressing post. I just need some sympathetic ears and knew I'd find them here.