though i got through the day without any suicidal feelings, i certainly ad my few moments today.

in the morning hit my hand hard on the edge of my shelf because i convinced myself a woman was about to kill me- and of course i reach out to get the knife off her, nothing is their- and slam my hand straight in to the shelf (outch that hurt!). it did leave me thinking.. why, it's 7 A.M in the ****ing morning, i don't need this yet

then later i became anxious for no reason at all and began to think that i wasn't allowed to live, i didn't deserve it, i have no right to feel like i'm feeling.. that went on for like an hour

am okay now