I am on 6-800mg per night to try to hold off the manic episode that I have been fighting with. I have not gained any weight, but running around downtown going to bars and drinking water doesn't hurt in the WG category, I mean literally running. Body image is a funny thing. I weigh 155 and am 5'10". My docs all say I am fine, but I still have the love handles i gained while on risperidal. I hate them, no matter how hard I try to loose them they just won't go away. At least I lost the 40# I gained while on the risperdal. My thoughts are that you cut yourself a little slack. You are making some major life changes right now, it will take time to check off all of your todo list items.