I have been in therapy for about 2 months now. My therapist keeps reaching out to me but I am so afraid to reach back. We have discussed the need for me to be there and I have accepted the fact that yes I do need to be there. The problem is me. She asked me if I trust her. I trust a little. I have a HUGE issue with trust. I feel like a little kid, if I know she is going to try to pry things out of me I take a coloring book and talk and color the whole time I am there. At the end of the session she will ask me how I feel and cry. I am so embarrassed by what I have told her. I feel like I am failing because I cannot talk about the things that have happened to me without having a panic attack. Once I tried to talk about one of the incidents and had to use my inhaler twice so she thought maybe it was a good idea if we stopped. I take medicine too. I go back on Tuesday but I am afraid. I really feel like I am failing and I will never be better.