The reasons I see myself as difficult are: Lack of communication. Limited ability to recognise feelings, let alone express them. My T knowing that she is the only person I attempt to talk to. (I do attempt with others, I just don't get any words out, that doesn't mean I am not trying). Dissociation, stuckness and blankness. Me not feeling like there is a connection or that T is with me, even when she feels it. Need for out of session contact both by email and text. My honesty. My desire for her to be what she cannot fully be. How long it is taking for me to feel comfortable with even the basic things like asking for the door to be opened or closed or the issues I have surrounding the entrance to the therapy space. I guess for lots of reasons I find myself thinking I am difficult, but this feeling is not entirely limited to therapy and is in my real life too. I often feel I am nothing more than a bother to people.