I have been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder (schizophrenia and bipolar). But sometimes I wonder if I don't have a narcissistic personality too. And I wonder how my diagnosis is related chemically to the narcissism I may be experiencing.

When you have psychosis and manic/depressive episodes, you get diagnosed with bipolar and maybe schizoaffective. Period. No big questions about that. But I see what occupies my mind most of the time - it's me. I am going to bring this up to my counselor next time I see him.

I have a huge insecurity complex. And I've been gifted musically and I really use that gift in the wrong ways - to satisfy that insecurity. I don't go to people and tell them directly how good I am at this or that, I try to act humble. But I wonder if it's just a false humility. I crave attention and affirmation. I have felt in the past a critical attitude towards those who maybe aren't "enlightened" like I "am", evidently.

I really see the error of my superior thinking or attitude, and I want to change. If I wasn't focused on myself so much, I might be able to get things done and work again, feel more empathy for others, and just be a more whole person.

I have believed that I'm especially unique, picked by God to suffer mentally and eventually to tell the world about my experience. I'm beginning now NOT to believe that, and that I need help more than anyone else.

Does it sound like I may be somewhat narcissistic? I've always told my counselor that I feel a sense of superior pride of my musical abilities, but he's dismissed it. Now that disease and age has set in, my musical abilities are declining, and all my accomplishments seem like nothing important. What do you guys think?