So, I had my session last night. First when I get there, a woman comes out of his office (client) and says 'bye John'...(made up name).

What?? I call him Dr. Blah and she's calling him John?? We had a thread on here about this before and at the time, I never heard a client refer to him by name...

We didn't get too deep into transference discussions but we did talk a lot about the kind of relationship I want to be in...I do realize that the feelings I have for him are what I'd like to have with someone...

I did manage to say 'well at least my latest behavioral activity means that I leave you alone between sessions!"

T said "I know, I've been replaced"...of course I told him there is no replacement...I jokingly wanted to say 'oh so it is okay to email or call you whenever I feel like it? Hee hee.

So I guess that I just admitted because he is not available when I need him (oh I mean when I think I need him)...I have found a distraction and he knows that I know, that he knows...what I'm doing...

Anyway, upon further analysis by me, the connection I am making is that I am avoiding the 'hard work' of therapy because it is 1) painful, 2) hard for me to talk about (transference stuff)and completely up to me when this gets resolved.

Great...