Hi Asphyxia: Yes, I know of your struggle. I read the post you had taken down. I didn't reply because I didn't think I had anything to offer. I think I probably still don't... But I can't help but give it a try. The Skeezyks is not a religious person. However, as a person who has struggled with gender identity disorder his entire life, I do think I understand something of the confusion & despair it can bring to a person's life.

Please forgive me if I ramble a bit here. I'm struggling to try to find something that may be of some comfort to you. A few years ago now, I was quite active on YouTube & came to know quite a few trans YouTubers who were documenting their transitions. Quite a few of them considered themselves to be devout Christians & perceived no conflict between their faith & their trans-ness. So... what I take from this is that perhaps faith, like beauty, is in the eyes of the beholder. In other words, it's really up to you to decide whether or not one can be both Christian & trans at the same time.

One thing I have come to believe, over the years, is that no one knows any more about what does, or doesn't, lie beyond this life than I do. And I don't know anything. And they don't either... although there are plenty of people out there who would like me to think they do. The reality is my personal opinion is as absolutely as valid as anyone else's. That being the case, your personal opinion has absolutely as much validity as anyone else's. You get to decide.

There was an interesting Associated Press article in our local newspaper yesterday with regard to Mother Teresa. Apparently there is some personal correspondence of hers that has recently come to light. And what it reveals is that she felt abandoned by God... almost all of her adult life. "For nearly 50 years, Mother Teresa endured what the church calls a 'dark night of the soul'-- a period of spiritual doubt, despair and loneliness that many of the great mystics experienced..."

I imagine we all experience this "dark night of the soul" to one degree or another. Some clearly experience it more deeply, & for longer periods, than others. Perhaps the despair & confusion you are feeling over whether or not you can be both trans & Christian is something akin to your own dark night of the soul. And the good news is, I believe, you get to choose how you respond to that dark night. The lesson we can learn from Mother Teresa, I believe, is that in spite of those feelings of abandonment, spiritual doubt, despair & loneliness we can persevere & do good work in the world.

I wish you well...