This may not work for you, but this is what happened with me.

My husband also would not stand up to his domineering mother. After ten years we went to a marriage counselor who told him that I was his family now and he must be loyal to me, not her.

So, that helped, a little. But she was still a witch to me in every way you can think of.

I was going through an unusual amount of stress and she was messing with me. I told my husband that if she didn't back off, I was going to embarass her in front of her friends.

Well, she didn't and I did. She'd been sending me email that she sent to everyone she knew. So I stood up to her and cc'd everyone on her list. I told her I had to put aside my ethics in order to speak to her at her level. And I told her that most people know that the time to release your son's balls is at the wedding.

Yes, the ug hit the fan, but I was having a breakdown so I didn't care. The outcome? She actually began to treat me with respect. And other people who had been intimidated by her started standing up to her and she lost a lot of her power.

I could never have planned this. I try not to think about her, because it still makes me angry.

I hope you can find some peace.