I have similar experiences. I don't have time to go into details right now. PM me if you want.

I don't know how old you are now. I always felt like I was more sexual than average, but I had conplete retraint. I never flirted with any girl. I remember vividly kicking a girl who was interested in me when I was like 14. I always thought they were making fun of me. I even have a new memory that I didn't have for a long time resurface just right now. I am pretty sure at some point two random girls who shared only one class with me, one of them had written a letter. Like some kind of love letter. They were all giggly. I was 100% sure they were playing me for a fool. They might have been, I am not sure. I didn't even want to accept their letter or read it or talk to them. The teacher told me to pin it down at a public notice board. Not sure if that is where it ended up, don't remember there. What a prick was that teacher, looking back.

I wouldn't talk to girls ever on the rare cases I was going out. My friends knew I hated girls. Guys would ask me why I wasn't interested, they all knew, and I had all kinds of excuses. I even had my brother tell me once, "Just only have sex with them if you don't want a GF".

Well I am going into details. Thing is, I fell in love with a girl as a young adult. That was an experience both incredibly painful and shaking me fundamentally, about everything. It took 8 years to recover, I had to reinvent myself as a person 3 times. As the years passed, my life became empty of all social contact. I had no desire to relive being in love, at all. I feared it, even when I had 0 people talk to me, ever, except for my father. Even then I feared falling in love again.
I had no education or job at that point, reaching age 29. And no desire to ever be with someone.
I did have very strong sexual fantasy. I would masturbate 1 to 3 times a day, based on cute and innocent sexual fantasies I created 100% in my mind. No visuals/porn. I would imagine a complete repertoire of real woman with real personalities and quircks inside my mind.

At some point I realized I either had to live with 100% intensity, or face a crippling depression that might lead to suicide eventually. So I went from someone who had to follow education meant for children with learning disabilities or mental retardation to a top student in a top50 university. Apparently, my youth was already being ****ed up by something before the age of 8.

Even as I reshaped my life and was succeeding professionally, I still had zero movement on the relationship sphere. As I finally was able to find some kind of life that was actual worth living and actual possible to achieve, I had some desire to in the distamt future have a life partner and children. But nothing was happening. I was making huge improvenents way faster than I could have imagined years earlier in my professional life, but still zero in the relation sphere. And the true reason is that while I see myself have a relationship in the future, I had no desire or drive or push to make me act on it right now. All woman I met left me cold, and I seemed to leave them cold. I didn't look out for them, and I didn't go out to meet them at events where they are actually looking to have fun and enjoy themselves. I didn't make an effort to connect to woman to see if that coldness would go away if I got to know them better (and all woman I meet are too young for me anyway or are my teachers).

Well, ill leave it at that.