I'm 55 with arthritis, a fusing spine, obesity, and various and sundry. I feel blessed because this last year I finally found a med cocktail that worked. I am lucky I don't have heart issues, high bp, diabetes, or many other things. With the BP under control, I feel like I can deal with the physical stuff. Exercise seems possible, I got a job, and I'm working on my MSW.

However, I am looking at two major surgeries. I have to have knee replacement but I need to lose weight, and I have to have a major hernia repair that is probably going to be open and require several months recovery at least. It's become apparent the knees might not make it a year. I can't use cortisone forever. There're no joints left. I am not sure how I'm going to do it. I can't do it on my own but I've got no-one who lives close enough to help, and then the finance issue.

I have a few calls to make in the next couple of months, but I am strengthening some relationships and maybe I can fly my sister out, but I feel this pressure. I feel the clock running out, and I know how fragile life is. I could be fine, and in a few days the world can crash. My goal is to keep my mood swings under control so I can deal with anything that heads my way so I can be effective and take care of business.

My parents both died young (My mother died at 54 and my dad died at 65), and I saw how quickly things could deteriorate health wise. I am not sure what I am going to do, but I'm working on what I can.