I'm going over everything in my mind, looking back, feeling like I have come through the grieving process from the failure of the relationship. It wasn't a case of biological depression. It was sadness, despair, disappointment. It was my inability to get my needs met. It was his inability to be someone he wasn't. It was just a stalemate.

I'm stuck in a kind of purgatory now, can't go back, can't move on. I'm so down, I don't care if I go out.

It meant the world to me to have succeeded at this relationship, and I couldn't, he couldn't. There was no Prince Charming.

I don't know how I am going to move on. I want to go forward to a new phase in my life, as this hasn't actually killed me. I just haven't figured out how yet. I'm working on it.

Hope.