I don't handle it very well at all. There are things I can't forgive myself for. Rather, and to be perfectly honest, I won't forgive myself. I feel I need to live with the guilt as punishment for what I did. This is a metal pipe I use to beat myself up with because I believe I deserve it. The irony is that I was forgiven unconditionally years ago. But I still carry it with me because I am afraid of myself, afraid of doing those things again. Among all the things I've talked to my therapist about, I have never uttered a word about the things I feel guilty for. I'm sure that's not healthy, but there you have it.

Well, you did ask.