So, about 2 1/2 years ago when I was 21, I had my first maniac episode due to at the time undiagnosed (for years) case of schizoaffective disorder. To make a long story short when I was sliding down that scary slide of insanity I called up a friend that I have known since I was 11 and I accused him of trying to rape me. After that I was hospitalized and few weeks later and 28 days later, my family had told my friend that I was hospitalized.

My friend sent my family a list of the texts I sent him and told them that I should move on. However, he also said to tell him how I was doing but my family never did. Its been years now but my friend and I were very close and I still miss him terribly. I am going back to my birth state which is where my friend is next March. I was going to visit my brothers and at the same time see if my old friends still goes to the same church that we meet at. I'm torn between what to do if I see him or if I don't. I don't want to seem weird or creepy which is why I never visited.

I just want to see him and/or get some type of closer.