Maybe...I definitely have those things to the extreme. I am just wondering what if underlying all that is a lot of narcissism...
I'm replaying all my therapy visits I've ever had in my head and I realize I even paint a better picture than who I actually am to my therapists. I will admit when I do things wrong but I feel like I still tweak the story to make myself seem less horrible.
I was a compulsive liar all through high school and always wanted to "fit in". My lies were ridiculous and outrageous and I have toned it WAYYYY down, mostly now it's exaggerations when I feel insecure (which is still more often than most people). I'm not sure if compulsive lying is a separate mental condition but I know it's associated with NPD. I have just gotten in the habit over time that it's easy to lie when you feel uncomfortable and that's why I can really relate to the idea related to NPD of "False Self" vs. True Self but idk if my False Self exists because I actually feel like I'm better than everyone or if it exists because I have low self esteem combined with a bad habit of lying. Sorry for rambling on but it feels good to write these thoughts down otherwise I feel even worse.
I know for a fact I do feel better than some people who drink...I also don't really have any friends and sometimes use the fact that I feel "different" than other people as an excuse for that...which I was reading was a trait of covert narcissism too.