I can relate a lot to this. Although I've gotten a lot better to where I really love and enjoy sex now. Sometimes though I just really don't like it. But it's gotten better. It's helped that I have a partner who listens to me when I say "no" or "stop". Even though I don't usually say "no" when I want to. It helps knowing he will listen if and when I decide to say "no". It takes a lot of communication. There are things that still bother me but I'm working on them. You are not alone. It also seemed to change for me when I met the right person. Also lots of therapy. Without therapy idk where I would be.