Things will be ok.

Clozaril really has been amazing for me. I have gained some weight on it which is frustrating but better than feeling terrible. I drool at night but this actually improved with time. I do have to get up to pee several times during the night and when my dose was higher (I was on 375 at first and now am on 275) I had to be careful of incontinence when I was really sound asleep (I'm taking meds to help me sleep on top of clozarl; most people find it really sedating but I'm very hard to sedate). The blood draws are annoying but it's actually gone pretty fast.

I'm glad the moon is helping you. My hospital looks out over a lake in the distance. It's hard to see with the safety mesh but if you happen to get a glimpse from the right angle at the right time it is gorgeous.

Please PM me if you ever want to talk about clozapine. One of the hard things about it is that not so many people are on it. I think there are maybe 4-5 of us on PC who admit it.

But mostly, just know that it with Emsam, have been my miracle. I had a 2 year long episode that clozapine stopped and I've never gone this long without a major episode requiring increased meds. Instead we're decreasing them, something I've never really gotten to do. It's not all better but anything beats the last 2 years before this stuff started working.