I'm sorry for your situation, Cheerchix. With him working 14 hours a day, your husband really isn't even available to build a relationship with. I don't think you're ever going to be able to trust this man. He's looking for novelty in women, and I doubt men like that ever change.

Right now, I think a main thing you need to take a hard look at is how you would manage financially, if you called it quits. If you can see yourself as being more or less okay on your own, then I don't think you have much to lose by walking away from this marriage. Between his job and his cheating, I doubt he is putting all that much into fatherhood, either.

It sounds to me like divorce will happen sooner or later. In that light, I would think you might want to get it over with before you get any older. You may still have the potential to find someone to love you. There's no guarantee of that, but being alone might not be any worse than what you are living now.

You sound like someone who will tolerate a lot. That's something you might want to take a hard look at, perhaps with the help of some therapy. You seem to have set the bar kind of low in what you consider a total deal-breaker. If you leave this marriage, I hope it would be with the resolve that you will never again settle for so little.

I've never felt that infidelity is unforgivable. I've seen couples get passed it and go on to build stronger marriages. Your husband doesn't sound like a man who cares all that much. The unfaithfulness seems to come all too easily to him. I believe he could only achieve reconciliation with someone like yourself who meets him way more than half-way, and, then, he figures he can keep replaying that.

It's sad, especially with children who are young, but it sure sounds like you've given him enough second chances. You, perhaps, manage to magnify the good memories and think they outweigh the bad more than they do. Maybe you even tend to blame yourself more than you should. He's going to take the position that you drove him to his latest fling. Don't be too quick to buy that.

Get some sound legal advice before you even tell him you are considering divorce. Learn, first, how best to protect your interests and those of your children.