I had something extremely triggering happen last night and took 20-30mg of melatonin so I'd pass out and not be able to hurt myself (and just to avoid being conscious). I vaguely remember writing a suicide note before I fell asleep and telling whoever found me not to let a few people know I'd died (I knew I wasn't going to die; I'm not entirely sure why I wrote it). Then I only remember a little bit of my dream, but I killed myself and saw my ex talking to someone about how he felt about not being invited to my funeral.