I actually just quit a job taking care of a 70 year old woman with dementia. I worked for her for over 8 months, but finally came to the end of my rope when she began threating to kill herself and/or her partner, was throwing pillows around out of anger and hitting herself in the head. I had watched her deteriorate quite rapidly.

The real reason I quit was because her partner just couldn't see how unhappy the woman was in her current environment. She was afraid and angry about what was happening to her. I felt she NEEDED to be in a place where she would be safe and start to begin to accept what was happening to her. I thought being in a home would provide her with consistency and security. I thought the anger could have been coming from her place of fear, if that makes sense?

I guess what I'm trying to say is that there does come a time when the patient needs to be in a facility and sometimes maybe it is difficult for a loved one to see that they would really be doing the person a favor by helping with placement and then visiting as often as possible.

I just told my daughter that I want to be in a facility if I ever become someone other than the loving mother I have been, due to illness. Does this make sense to you? He probably doesn't want to be so disagreeable but he can't help it and perhaps, the best thing for everyone would be for him to be with others who are like him. Anyway, big hug for you!