You don't sound harsh to me Michela if anything that is what I was thinking at first, However,it didn't sit well for me even after years. I told my therapist that and she is right it wouldn't hurt to try to contact him.Unfortunately I don't have any contact info for him that is up to date. So no heads up... we used to go to the same church so I will see if he still goes there when I visit texas next march. I don't plan on a rejoice filled reconnecting or even seeing him cause he might not even still go there. I am going there for me it will make me feel better about everything. I haven't been there for years and I was to ashamed and scared to even watch church on tv. Its silly and nothing was my fault and my friend told my family not mad at me. I shouldn't be afraid of seeing someone at a mutual location out of the blue.