I think the above statement is really important. It sounds like you crave the excitement of the attraction. It makes me think of all the years you spent in a marriage that was definitely lacking in excitement, and how much you must have fantasized about it.

It is very exciting and thrilling to be in a new relationship, and it would be wonderful to be able to spend the rest of your life with someone who craves affection and connection with you as much as you do with them. I hope to find someone I can spend the rest of my days with, sometime. I hope I get to the point where I might be able to do that.