Ok, I will go ahead and share the whole story. I will have the admins delete this post after it has run it's course, but in case can't have the whole thread deleted as well DO NOT QUOTE THIS POST. In fact, try not to repeat too many details from it in your own words either.

So basically, I was out at a lunch with some friends/coworkers. We were discussing sports. My friend was asking another coworker if he was interested in being on a softball league she is setting up. I ask which sport they are talking about and she tells me and continues talking to him about it. Then a few minutes later she turns to me and says asks if I play softball at all. As I am about to answer that I don't, she blurts out "it's weird, you have a black belt, but from what I have seen you are pretty uncoordinated." I was offended and taken aback my this comment, because it seemed so bluntly rude and she doesn't normally make comments like that. But because she is normally so nice to me, I assumed she didn't mean to be offensive and I kept my mouth shut. Then a while later, I mention that I want to play soccer and that I am wondering when the leagues associated with our company start. Now, a bit of background, there is a coed league and a men's league. I was before told by another friend that the men's league is more competitive so if I wasn't that good, that the coed league might be better. The truth is, I am interested in playing on the coed league because I want to meet more girls, but I figured the men's league being more competitive would be a good excuse. So I mentioned that I was interested in the coed league because I haven't played soccer in a while and I am not that good. I was not even thinking in terms of gender or that women aren't as good as men or anything like that. I actually don't see why that would be the case in soccer, I was just thinking the coed league was more casual because that's what I've been told. But my friend apparently took it as me saying the coed league is less competitive because there are women playing and started giving me a pissed off look while turning red. I only realized what was going on after another friend pointed out her reaction. I immediately said "oh, well I didn't mean it THAT way, I was just told the men's league is more competitive..." but she replied saying "it's about the impact not the intent." Basically calling me out in front of everyone.

So lets put aside for a second the fact that my comment was not meant to be about gender at all. Lets say I had made that comment and I did mean to say women were less competitive. Why is it that I am not allowed to suggest something like that but she is allowed to straight up tell me I am uncoordinated?

Oh and there is more. Even though she went back to being on friendly terms pretty much immediately after, she seems to have picked up a habit of making comments just like the one she made that day. Today she pointed out to me that I have poor listening skills and that I ask her the same questions over and over again. Yesterday she gave me a "how can you not tell this is..." about something she asked me which I struggled to answer. She seems to be passing it off as normal friendly teasing, buy I have a feeling there is more to it than that, because she would not make these kinds of disparaging comments in the past. I am also starting to wonder if my comment at lunch had nothing to do with it and there was something going on before and that her "uncoordinated" comment was part of a pattern of behavior triggered before.

Anyways, the reason her comments are so offensive to me is because they basically demonstrate that she sees me as incompetent. It's obvious she doesn't think I'm smart or socially skilled, so now she thinks I am physically uncoordinated too? Then what exactly do I have going for me? I am not interested in playing the role of the village idiot and that seems to be the role I am playing here.