You can't change any one, The only person you can change is yourself, I use to try to control things that I could not control but I can't, Have you ever heard of the Serenity Prayer it is a meaningful pray for all types of addictions, Have you ever read the book Codependent No More, It is a very good book and I own it myself, You should it for yourself also there are Alanon meetings that you could go to so you can understand a addict and it makes you focus on you