Thank you for the hugs. I realise I really shouldn't have posted this thread, but I wasn't thinking straight.

As far as getting help goes I'm not sure it's so simple. I'm not sure there is anything they can do. I'm also aware that if I say whats been going on lately I might end up in hospital and that's just not an option right now.

For now I'm just doing my best to keep it together and get through the next few days in one piece. I just need to stay in control...